Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
