I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
