He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
wow bdsm is so cute
So. Much. Porn.
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