What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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