You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he fucked my hip out of place.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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