Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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