I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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