In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
