its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
