I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
