i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
