we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
