I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
