honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
