Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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