Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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