I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
