I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
