dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
