My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
