i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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