It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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