Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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