True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
