I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
