Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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