Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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