thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
