You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
