thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
