omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You've changed since you got that strap on
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize