She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
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I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
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He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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