o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
