so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
