I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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