i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
