i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
wow bdsm is so cute
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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