Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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