It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
