Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
