He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
