Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Even my vagina gasped.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
