I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
