Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
