my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
