What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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