atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
