The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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