An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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