At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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