I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
