There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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