I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
