I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
