It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
