I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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