Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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