I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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